Preserving Memories: How to Write a Family History 

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WHY YOU SHOULD CREATE A FAMILY HISTORY

Usually people have one of two reactions to the idea of writing a family history: "Can I publish my family history and make a lot of money?" or, "My family has no history worth writing." Both of these are unrealistic. The following sections explain why.

Can I Publish My Family History and Make Money?

People ask me — a freelance editor — to help them write their individual memoirs or family histories. Sometimes they expect to submit their manuscripts to publishers because they think their stories are so interesting and unusual that everyone will want to read them. However, unless you or members of your family have achieved some celebrity or notoriety, the general public usually won’t be interested in your story. Publishers don’t often publish memoirs of ordinary people unless they have been in the midst of extraordinary circumstances.

In addition, most people are more interested in their own family background than in yours, and most families have stories of overcoming great hardships somewhere in their history. Nearly all families have memories of love and sacrifice as well as of great tragedy. And, in general, families would rather read their own stories than yours.

Who Would Want to Read about My Family or Me?

At the other end of the spectrum, there are people who think their lives are too ordinary to write about. They haven’t traveled to exotic places, made great discoveries, or earned huge fortunes. The public doesn’t recognize their faces on the covers of the tabloids or hear of their accomplishments on the nightly news. They wonder why they should write anything at all.

Maybe you’re in this category, and you wonder who would be interested in your family history if you put it down on paper. But even if the world isn’t interested , and even if your family history won’t make the New York Times Bestseller List, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t create it for your own family.

What’s the Value of a Family History?

Do your children know how you and your spouse met? Has your family forgotten (or perhaps never known) the challenges your grandparents or great-grandparents overcame as immigrants? Do you wonder about the origins of cherished family traditions? Would you like to ensure that your grandchildren and great-grandchildren understand your beliefs and values?

We think we’ll always remember the important events of our lives. But in the day-to-day activities of living, we tend to lose sight of the bigger picture. We forget the reasons for our holiday traditions , or we forget to tell our children and grandchildren about some of the events of our childhood.

Sometimes, we remember to share the happy experiences, but since we often want to forget about the hard times, we neglect to mention them. Yet it's those times that may cover some of the most important events of our family’s history. The rough spots in life may be what made us into the people we are today.

After my father died, my mother became very depressed and withdrawn. I convinced her to attend a writing conference with me by telling her I didn’t want to stay in the hotel alone. She attended one conference session — a seminar on writing essays. She wanted to try her hand at an essay but couldn’t decide on a topic, so I suggested she write about our trip. After that successful attempt, my siblings and I encouraged her to write about her own life.

She wrote what she called her “stories” in longhand on notebook paper. I transcribed them, making only minor corrections in her spelling, punctuation, and grammar. I scanned family photos and added them in appropriate places. We printed the stories on my computer printer and inserted the pages in loose-leaf binders so she could give a book to each of her adult children for Christmas ; each year after that, she wrote more stories to add to the book.

These stories quickly became cherished family treasures. Teenaged grandchildren put aside video games to read their parents’ copies of their grandmother’s memoirs. Siblings pointed to stories and asked each other, “Did you know that?” Family members shared laughter and tears when the stories were given as gifts, and now, years after my mother died, those loose-leaf binders filled with family stories have become treasured legacies, possibly even more valued than money or property.

The same can be true for you. Your personal memoirs or your family history can be the greatest treasure you can leave your family because you're sharing your life and yourself.

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